Wednesday, February 20, 2008

IT'S NOT ADD


Cooper came home from school yesterday, immediately told me he was on red. That's code for "I got into trouble". In his class, as in many elementary classrooms, there is a behavior system in place. Green=good, yellow=made a few bad choices, red=really bad, or many bad choices. In his room his teacher sends home a report for each kid daily. I love the idea. It's on a monthly calendar and the kids have to color in the circle for that date with the color they were on at the end of the day. Accountability... great. Cooper had been on yellow and red for things like, "put foot on hand rail while doing down stairs" or "took longer route to put up coat in hallway, to play with another child" I'm thinking, why are we sweating the little stuff. This is a first grade classroom doesn't this happen a lot with everyone? I let it go. I trust the teacher's judgement, and initial every day. Yesterday Cooper was on red for a real reason, "talking while the teacher was talking".

Later in the day, out of no where, he says, "Mom I have a lot more writing on my chart than everyone else." "yeah Cooper"... Long pause. "does that mean I"m bad?" I wanted to say, "no it means your making bad choices." but I just said, "No". HOnestly I think he's been making normal 7 year old choices and getting a rap sheet for it. Now he's got nothing left to lose so why not make choices that really are bad. Not to mention he now has poor judgment in deciding what truly are bad choices. I'm a little pissy about it honestly. He has such a negative self image at this point, and why? Because his teacher wants to document instances he feels demonstrate ADD tendancies, when It's been proven the kid doesn't have ADD by a medical professional? What a load of bullshit. He's 7. He deserves the best possible environment in which to learn. Not to be bulldozed because his teacher wants to prove me wrong.

I AM NOT MEDICATING MY SON SO HIS TEACHER CAN HAVE A CLASSROOM OF 7 YEAR OLD ZOMBIES! 30% of 1st grade boys are put on medication and 90% of those recommendations come from teachers. TEACHERS ARE NOT DOCTOR'S. TEACHERS DO NOT HAVE THE PROFESSIONAL BACKGROUND TO QUALIFY THEM TO DIAGNOSE THEIR STUDENTS. I AM A TEACHER FOR GOD SAKES. Teach students based on their learning style, and in a way appropriate for their developmental needs. A 7 year old has at MOST a 7 minute attention span, the need to be up and about, and the need to socialize. DO NOT SIT THEM AT DESKS AND ASK THEM TO DO WORKSHEETS QUIETLY, and then PUnish them for talking and diagnose them with ADD because they can't "pay attention". THAT IS DEVELOPMENTALLY INAPPROPRIATE! THAT IS EDUCATIONAL MALPRACTICE!

**Reading this 5 years later I can still say, "right on to me". Cooper is 11 and still super mellow. This teacher ended up getting "re-assigned" to "school counselor" after much advocating on my part. It helped immensely that I got many parents, who were feeling the same way, to speak up. During his time with this teacher Cooper lost nearly 8 months of learning, his dibels decreased, his AR score decreased, it truly was educational malpractice (I had to keep all these scores in order to prove it, so hang on to everything you get from school). He went from being considered gifted, to being BELOW grade level (based on test scores). It took me until this school year to catch him back up. He now reads 3 grade levels above his own, and tested "advanced proficient" on 2 of three categories on the state test. This entry should be an warning and an inspiration to other parents. Do your own homework. We should know our children the best, and know how to advocate for them.**

Tuesday, February 19, 2008

beautiful Boy


It's nice to take in a low mileage week. It gives me time to focus on other stuff. Had cooper's P/T conference. His teacher insists, despite a Doctor's evaluation, that Cooper has ADD! The kid has the activity level of a premo athlete! Go figure. He's not distractable, he's bored, and doesn't want to sit still. He's seven, His parents were both D1 athletes, and he's very smart. challenge him, let him move about. It seems to me to be educational malpractice to ask 7 year olds to sit in their seats for 6 hours a day. It's not developmentally appropriate! I have watched his self esteem deflate over this school year. It's been extremely difficult to watch. I don't really know what to do. I'm probably going to ask for a different teacher. One that's willing to be flexible for their students. This teacher has had one discipline problem after another with his entire class. I think it can be assumed that he is not meeting the needs of his students, and from cooper's deflation, I think I can also assume he's blaming the kids. It's all too common now for teacher to toss aside their own accountability for an misdiagnosis of ADD. I've seen it myself as a teacher. This is going to take some finess... Something I don't have. Good luck to me... More luck to Cooper.

Friday, February 15, 2008

Gasparilla 15k



Finally. I broke the tape and it was actually tape, not yarn. The race itself was one that tested my ability to focus and overcome. I didn't feel awesome smooth like I did at Westchester. This one was all guts for the last three miles. As Casey said, "you look awfully bad for a 56:00". He's right, but I'll take it. My biggest win on the roads to date.

"Freedom is just another word for nothing left to lose." Instead of this being a head inflating experience it was a cathartic one. This win forced me to face my abilities, their possible limits, and the head games I play with myself. No more excuses, no more holding back. I am now ready to lay it out there. Naked. I'm not afraid to find out I might be wrong about what I think I can do, or what others think I can do. I don't care. The only way I'll ever know is if I pick up my damned skirt and go for it. If this win had gone down with Annie on a throne I'd have just mulled on waiting for the other foot to drop. Since this win was challenged by the local press (and the comments were brutal) it forced me to take a long hard objective look at my running, and life over the last 4 years and draw a conclusion. The conclusion being this. First and foremost, people are cruel and weird (anything to make a story out of nothing). Secondly, I don't train hard enough. I don't race often enough. I hold out just enough to be able to say, "if I actually trained I could...." because I'm afraid to know the truth. My times for what has been put in to them are awesome and shameful simultaneously. I may be a national class runner forever. I don't care. It's about the training. I am surrenduring myself to it fully to see what's in there, no more wasting time and talent because of elementary hang ups and inhibitions. It's business now. I've been striped naked there's nothin' left to lose.

After thought, Do I race as Annie Cooper-Gasway or Just Annie GAsway.

Monday, January 7, 2008

Snapshot of an Uprising

I wanted to be a revolutionary. It started when I stumbled upon the art books in the basement of the library. Body’s strewn about like carnival waste. Colorful misery. It delighted me. Each trip to the library I snuck into the adult section and devoured pages of corpses. My dad was busy reading books on Eastern Religions. My mom was in the Children’s section with my sister and brother. This was my time, my sweet nectar. I got away with it for about a month. Eventually, my dad stumbled upon my skeletal silhouette curled in a vinyl chair beneath a massive volume of Renaissance Art. I felt like I had been caught with my sister’s hair in my hands. I was so ashamed. That’s when I fell in love with Ghandi.



Instead of signing me up for therapy (after all I was only 10) my dad took me to the video section and showed me three movies, Ghandi, Gorrilla’s in the Mist, and Romero. He knew why I was captivated by the bloody pages. He knew they depicted the First Crusades. He knew my affinity for justice. After all, my over developed superego was his fault. He had taken me along to deliver communion to Hospice patients and shut-ins. I remember; a sliver of speckled sunlight crafted long shadows from the wrinkles of mouths that wanted to smile. Mouths that hadn't spoken in weeks. Forgotten by all but my dad, me and the priest that lived among them. Death isn't contagious. People seem to think it is, but it isn't. I was going give a voice to the voiceless! After practically wearing out the video cassettes of each film I made up my mind. I was going to be a revolutionary when I grew up! Then I hit puberty. Distractions derailed my aspirations.

Boys were of little interest to me because I was of little interest to them. My figure resembled Olive Oyl’s. Few other kids were willing to spar with me on issues concerning life, it’s meaning, and our place in the world. It was easier for them to avoid contact with me altogether. My fulfillment came when my dad asked me a question from the Tao and forced me to defend my answer. Now that was fun. However, I found this wasn't an effective defense mechanism. "Mean Girls" didn't respond the way I wanted them too when I asked, "Can God make a rock heavier than he can lift? If so can he lift it?" Yep. That one didn't work out too well. I obviously had to have a coping mechanism. Actually, I needed two. Yep, it was that bad. My coping mechanism was writing. My distraction was my obsession with running. When I ran I was at peace. I was so busy running to my happy place that I forgot about the whole revolutionary thing. Survival mode. It was hard enough to fight acne, let alone a cause of any kind. Thankfully I was off to college before I knew it.

My anguish paid it's debt. I was actually good at my two comforts. It was ironic I had any athletic ability at all. Of all athletic pursuits running was the one that made the most sense. After all, Buddist monks use running as a way to transcend the physical world. Something I had to master to make it through 12 torturous years of public education. I went to college on both a Creative Performing Arts scholarship and an Athletic scholarship. The Dean of the Creative Writing program said, “I wouldn’t have figured you for an athlete. Most jocks don’t think much.” I was justifiablly offended, but from my experiences I couldn't disagree. Although college was a better fit for me, I clung to a pendulum swinging between the world of the pen and the world of Track. I'd find that Alcohol helped ease those awkward situations quite a bit. For the first time ever, I didn’t know me. Instead of merging myselves, I divided them. Wearing each like a costume.

October 1998 I rode up late to the Conference Cross Country meet because I had been selected by Students of Fine Art to read at the fall Art Opening. Yet no one at the opening knew why I had to duck out early, and my Teammates had no idea why I was late. A rushed trip back to the dorm to change ensured that! I have to admitt it felt a little wonder womanish. I had an alter ego. The poem I read is below. My teammates wouldn't have understood what I was talking about. If they knew I had written this, I'd never lived it down. They imagined poetry readings as being people in black turtlenecks snaping and banging on bongos. And Ohmigod it says, "tits" and "cocks"! *GASP*
1
On sophocated
nights when plump
mosquitos flirted with the
florescent bulbs of porch lights, burning like
the chests of forgotten wives sizzling
in darkness beyond those front
doors we
walked.
Our uneven steps filling
the silence with frenzied
percussion. Our sore
tits pushing against our
shirts. Forced
womanhood
swelling under our tender
skin. we talked under the
humming of crickets about
how our lives would
unravel perfectly like
bubbletape & our
giggles jingled in
the trees.

2
The last time I saw you we
sat on your
parents splintered
porch swing & served
breathless confessions of
bruises and hard cocks to
the chorus of night things singing indigo
tunes in your
blooming yard. Your hand licked my
breast.
I ran.
protected by the beat of
my swift steps, to my door where
the porch light burned for
me. Trespasser.

3
But, now confessions swell
in my eyes. There is
no porch swing
no chorus begging
to hear more.
I sit motionless watching
stars bloom. Letting
the burning in my chest consume
me.


With my Teammates and I never talked about my ideas, my thoughts, or my insights. I saved those for my journals, for creative writing class, literary analysis. With my Writing friends, I never shared that I was an athlete. Yet when I was alone, running, myselves melded and language crashed through me.

By now I had completely lost all memory of my love affair with Ghandi, Jane Goodall, and Monsignor Romero. They are dusty inside me next to the Pythagorean Theorem. I had school records to break, books to read, a major to declare. English Education. There’s a radical profession. A High School English teacher. Something inside of me had to scream, “I want to be a Revolutionary” When I made that commitment. I did it. It made sense. There’s a decent retirement, and vacation package. I like English, I like kids. If I ever had kids I’d have their schedule. So safe, so not me. I should’ve asked myself, “What would Ghandi do?” But, I had plans.

Then He happened. Casey. Boys had begun to like me. Most of them liked the idea of me more than they like me. They just didn’t know it. I avoided them mostly. I wasn’t in the entertainment business, they found me to be quite entertaining in a funny girl sorta way. It wasn’t fun having fun for both people on the date. I was defensive to say the least. I had had one boy friend in my 19 years and that was plenty for me. He was like the others, in love with the idea of me. He left me feeling like a peacock in a room of turkeys. A spectacular ideal of a person, and not a person. I had resigned to the fact that I’d rather be alone than misunderstood. Casey though, was like me.

An artist and an athlete. Deep, complicated, and sensitive. I was complete in love with him. He made me a better person, accepted all of myselves and helped me meld them together. He still leaves me wordless, a feat in itself. I cannot put into words how he made (or makes) me feel. It is good. The only guy I’d ever want to grow old with.

I was on track to break records, earn respect, Professors were asking me to try to get published. I had plans. Marriage was now one of them. Then my clothes shrank, I got slower despite increased efforts, I was always tired.

Cavernous spots populated the ceiling of the team doctors office like tiny little villages. I was sure I was anemic. It fit every symptom. I was occupying my mind wondering what the little people in the tiny villages were doing. Was there a milk man, a mail man? Would they look like weeble people? The doctor came in with a face so pale, and strained I thought for sure I had cancer. “You’re not anemic” Wheew! “You’re pregnant.” His shoulder’s slumped as he said it, as if he was ashamed for me. Good thing too because I was numb. I didn’t know it then but I was grieving. Slowly I would turn to ash, as this fetus stole away my life. I wanted to start over. He was lying. “How’s the father going to take this” The father? What am I a whore now, me who has had two boyfriends in my life? “uh, uh... He’ll be thrilled” I had to force each word out. Casey wanted nothing more of life than to be a father. Why can’t he be the pregnant one then?

I spent the drive back to my dorm squinting through my tears. I didn’t want to tell Casey because I didn’t want to see him celebrate. This fucker just ruined all of my plans. When I told him he picked me up and spun me around with glee. For a moment I was happy too. Mom said, “Well, Shit what about your running?” Dad said, “You’ll be a great mom.” Coach said, “Can you run this weekend? You can keep your scholarship. If you want to continue competing after the baby let me know. After this season just take it easy and decide what you want to do.” I hated this baby. The next week I’d find out I was 11 weeks already. At 12 weeks I would run my last meet of the year, and get second (to Ann Alyanak). Casey got to keep competing. He got to finish his Senior season unblemished. I remembered. I wanted to be a revolutionary. It’s just that I thought I’d be revolting against something other than my own body.

Everyday I ran, logging as many miles as my tired, burning legs could handle. It was my way of keeping a patch of me green. A sacrament the fetus couldn’t steal away from me. Casey’s little life burning in my belly turning everything to ash, but that one green patch.

5/00
You may rule this
Body with a fetal fist
Ordering changes
Without
Authorization
But this one
minute is mine.
Like that small
Space, hidden
from slum
lords, tenants decorate
to their taste sneaking
sideways glances.
This is my space
Decorated with
Desperate muscles
Fighting atrophy
With blanks and
Dull blades
But still fighting
Fighting you gives this mind
A surreal sense
Of independence
From the body you
Seized without
Warning.

I moved out of my dorm and into a house Casey’s parents bought for us to live in until we were done with school. When he was born he was beautiful. He was perfect, and I still hated him. Casey raised Cooper for 6 months before I realized I wasn’t there. 6 months I loathed them both with my silence and my absences. Two beautiful boys who loved me. I was a ghost to them. At night I’d hear them both crying and roll over to go back to sleep. I wonder now if Casey wanted to vomit when the paper released the article on my "miraculous come-back"? The photo of me smiling with a baby Cooper on my shoulders. Radiant mother. Beautiful boy. No one knew. Casey kept good secrets. I spent my days sleeping and working out. I was alone. Everyone avoided confronting my illness. Depression isn't contagious. People think it is, but it isn't. Casey slept nights in Cooper’s room on the futon his uncle had given us. They were in love. It made me sick.

Then it was over, like a rain that falls and rises up again leaving things wet for days. Cooper at 9 months. Outdoor Conference.

I realized that Casey’s devotion to me was outstanding. He was an amazing father. He was 23, what 23 year old guy is a good father? Not to mention the amount of space he gave me, and without judging me. I fell madly in love with my beautiful son. I overcame my demonself, one I hadn't known exsisted. I finished my degree. I got my school records, conference championships etcetera. I didn’t let me, or Cooper, or anyone stop me. I had won my revolution. There was no celebration to mark the victory, no indication the war was over. I must've still been numb because I kept on fighting as if in my sleep. This singular event made each decision that followed. Yet, I denied its significance until now.

In a sense my voice was murdered by my first pregnancy. I was a livelier version of the wrinkled mouths I so wanted to fight for. It is why I was a working mom and Casey was a stay at home dad. It is why I’ve never gone to grad school. It is why I am so consumed with reaching my potential as a runner. It narrowed my vision of my life, and the life I'd want for my family. I was meandering about myself looking for my voice. I was looking for it in my past selves, Selves that were incomplete to begin with. Stationary, with the illusion of motion. Firing at invisible targets.

But isn’t there more? Possibly not. Maybe there is less. Maybe it’s simpler than that. Maybe I just need to stop fighting a stale battle, and start recoginzing myself. Now, perhaps, I can feel free to pursue whatever the hell I want to pursue. I still hear that little girl. She still wants to give a voice to the voiceless. I don't know what I'm going to do with her. I'm pretty indulgent.

They are beautiful aren't they.

All of us who are fighting to overcome our circumstances are revolutionaries, fighting our own tiny revolutions. If we fail to move on once our rebellious act plays out we risk becoming a causality in our own uprising. Oh yeah, and Cooper is a revolutionary in his own right. He argued evolution with his kindergarten teacher at his Catholic School. “Birds came from Dinosaurs!” That's my boy!

Monday, December 3, 2007

VIRGIN MOTHER


DIET,
Secrets of
THIN WOMEN,
secrets he won't
tell you that will
KEEP HIM,
lose 10lbs in a week, make-up
secrets from the stars,
What your mother never told you,
how to keep him HAPPY,
foreplay 101,
Make your body
SWIM-SUIT WORTHY
for summer,

Working mother, sex
goddess, bake the perfect
pie (but don't eat it)!
Silence is a virtue.

Reverent Devotion

from a run




A cathedral built of bending
Sycamores
Whining in the wind. So many
sorrows, so much
laughter splintering silence
as they straighten their spines
to make
room
for
more

Life is bigger
bigger than the
space we
designate for
our God
Bigger
than the
space our God
Designated to hold us.
Everybody seems to
think they'd be
a better
boss.

Fat Arteries fracture
the shadows
illuminating
our cuts into the
earths flesh.

we giants slumber in
blackness.
forgotten.
Lights can't wake us.
we don't
exsist
too busy cutting arteries to be
distracted by
exsistance.
Too Busy taking what
we were given and
pimpin' it out so
we can be
comfortable
Comfortably numb
blinded
unable to see
darkness for the light
unable to hear the screaming
in the forest,
of our children,
we are so able to builld yet
so unable to build big
enough.


I MIGHT HATE THIS POEM

Tuesday, November 13, 2007

Westchester 10k 35:58

Lime green shorts, construction pylon orange tank top, and "knee-high" rainbow striped toe socks worn as gloves. This was my "racing" outfit Sunday. I looked more like a clown than a runner. I knew I had to run fast or else I'd be chucked aside as one of "those" runners, the ones who dress weird because otherwise they'd never get noticed on the racecourse. My motive was much less deliberate. I HATE doing laundry. On that particular day I was in the middle of an eight-day laundry stand off with my husband, and dang-it I was going to win. In fact when I left the house that morning it looked like a clothes bomb had gone off. A sorry casualty in this battle was my appearance on race day, but that was a consequence I could live with if it meant I didn't have to do laundry. On this day I was in pursuit of two victories!

Needless to say, as I lined up on the starting line the other women didn't seem to take me too seriously. Can you blame them? I felt like a punk rocker at a Junior League meeting. The men's throats seemed bulge from the stress of holding in their scoffing laughter at seeing me at the front for the start. Even I wasn't sure where I should be. It took much prompting from Miki to get me to move up to the very front. Even then I looked back at him for reassurance. Only when the starter raised his arm was I able to find the courage to face the course.

The gun went off so suddenly I reacted with startled jump before I took the first step. Once my legs were moving, I became aware of nothing but them. That first mile I kept my mind focused solely on the sound of my feet hitting the pavement. Finding which part of my foot met the road, gaining an understanding of angles in my stride, and the stress of my muscles as they hardened and softened through each step. Like a machinist on an assembly line I was becoming one with my machine. Learning each piece, it's placement, and how to best manipulate it for the sake of efficiency. It was no surprise when that first mile split was a 5:40. That had been exactly what I had wanted my machine to accomplish. I felt completely in tune with my machine. My ears knew the rhythm that equaled 5:40, and my legs were doing everything I asked.

The race had led us onto a wooded path just before the mile marker. A group of men engulfed me. I felt like a stone in the high tide. Naturally, I let them sweep me up, losing touch with the sound of my feet in the chaos of the crowd. The second mile was faster than the first. This had not been deliberate. The loss of control frightened me, and caught me off guard. What would this do to me later? Was I running on cash, or credit? While I questioned my speedy second mile, I detached from the awareness with my legs. My pace slowed significantly, an attempt to regain control and guarantee a solid race. We passed the banners for the 5k finish and turned to begin our second loop.

My split at the three-mile marker angered me. 17:26 was not fast enough. My legs were not spent at all. How dare I sabotage myself like that? Now I felt antsy, and my legs grew restless. In response I deliberately picked up pace. The fourth mile was run with confidence, and control. I took back my position with what was left of that pack of men, much to their surprise. The 5:50 for that mile still wasn't testing my legs to my liking, nor did it satisfactorily make up for my loss of focus and confidence during the third mile.

My legs didn't rebel at all when I quickened my stride. Pushing my forefoot off the pavement forcefully, as I reeled in runners in my quest to salvage this race. The whole time wondering who this person was that was giving out commands with the authority of a general. All I could think to myself was, "I have 2 more miles in which to save this race. This is my chance to prove myself to me, and I'm not going to blow it. There's more, the effort can always be harder". My forearms began to sweat beneath my toe sock gloves from the effort. The desire of my spirit to catch the runners in front of me screamed out louder than the complaints from my sweaty arms to remove the gloves. I made it through the 5 mile marker in 29 minutes even. A 5:45 mile.

The sixth mile was all business. I had test-driven these legs for miles 4 and 5 not really sure what I was going to find, and engine seemed to purr in response to each acceleration. During the sixth mile I dropped it down a notch to see how the machine might react. Much to my surprise there was no protest. I began to curse myself a little for my earlier trepidation. I wanted to punish myself with each step by increasing the force and speed of my foot strike. The final mile was my crazed penance.

Since this was a circuit race most of the runners knew each other. I am new in town and no one knew me. As I pass these guys so late in the race they look at me first "is that a girl", and then a second time "who is that girl". I'm guessing there aren't many women that put the hammer down at these smaller circuit races, and they think they should know me. Right now I'm barely conscious of them. My concentration is set on reading my legs response to my demand for increased intensity. However, it does occur to me that it's weird they are paying any notice to me at all.

As I pass under the familiar banners marking the way to the finish line, for both the 5k and the 10k races, my legs begin to burn subtly. The finish is a slight incline, but I proceed to increase my effort anyway. I can see the banner for the finish and want to get there as quickly as possible.

I look at my watch 34:20...DANG IT! I'm not going to break 35! Stupid, stupid girl for that third mile. I pass the 6 mile marker in 34:45. The hammer falls harder and I do my best to get on my toes, albeit unsuccessfully. I cross the finish line in 35:58, and raise my arms out of sheer happiness! I see rainbows in the corners of my eyes. Oh yeah the socks! I chuckle. Satisfied with the control I had over my race result, and amused at my attire. One battle won, and one to go!

While waiting for the awards ceremony I get many confused looks from faces that all seem to know each other. My friends won awards also, an awesome bonus. I try to call home in the awards tent. No answer. Hummm what could that husband of mine, and those two boys, be doing? Don't they know I had a race today? My husband hadn't come because he is convinced he's bad luck. My impatience grew to anger on the ride home as I tried him a second time, and again, no answer. He was probably being lazy, wrestling with the boys, and further destroying the house.

As I walked in our house I opened my mouth to spew out the elaborate, scathing, verbal lashing I had composed on the way home. I stopped. The house was spotless; the laundry monster had been conquered! Battle two won as well! My boys were in their room cleaning, and my husband slouched on the couch, he had bags under his eyes. Casey, my knight in a cut-off Offspring concert Tee. I kissed him on the forehead and said, "Thanks! To what do I owe this honor?" His response, "It's not an honor, and yes you owe me!" Ah, what a glorious Sunday!


results: http://www.doitsports.com/newresults3/client/148527_180296_2007.htm