Thursday, June 7, 2007
Who needs cheerleaders
Okay. I'm venting. I ran my first 10k. My fitness is about where I expected it to be for being back at it for 2 months (36:44). I tried to talk to casey about my goals and my quest to build my confidence in my ability to achieve them! Jenny's tuesday night group has been a miracle for me! It has given me a support network and accountability, both of which I need desperately. I thought winning saturday, and the respectable time would be a great segway to a conversation with Casey in which I set an expectation of his support. Man was I wrong. I tried to tell him that my road time would be competitive in many venues; what an excellent resource tuesday night was, how I wish he'd be more verbally supportive of me. I got, "it's a down time for running right now." What a dick head thing to say. That comment totally discounted my effort, and sabotaged my efforts to build confidence! It's not like him either; to be so calloused. I of course wasn't going to stand for that kind of talk so I defended myself. I didn't get anywhere. I think it boils down to the fact that he wants to move next year, and I want to stay for my running. Not to mention that he still resents his lack of opportunity to achieve his goals in college! So my pursuits are salt in a wound, but seriously GET OVER IT! I want the spouse that goes to the races with a poster board that says, "GO MOMMY GO!" and get's the kids involved. i don't think I'll ever get that. However, I would settle for the spouse that says, "hey way to go. how'd you feel." When I call after a race. Anything would be better then, "alrighty, nice job. talk to you later." An empty response to something I put so much of myself into! But who needs cheerleaders anyway. Right?
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Well, I am proud of your accomplishments. Casey is just frustrated right now. I am sure he will get back in to the supportive mindset once things get stable.
ReplyDeleteBut all you can do is focus on the now, and continue to kick ass pal. Things will work out. :)
-Dagny
Hi Annie,
ReplyDeleteIt was *so* great to see your blog after you popped in on the thread about the 10K course over at RT. (By the way, if you thought the course was accurate, that's good enough for me!)
I wish I had chatted with you longer that day after Sunburst, but now that I've been able to read a bit of your blog I can see that you are not only a very talented runner, but also an excellent writer with a fascinating voice. You have the burning desire to meet all your running goals (and that 40 mile drive to the Y and day care is proof positive that you're not going to let roadblocks stop you)! Even if there wasn't a cheerleading spouse at Sunburst that day, I have every confidence that you can make the Oly A standard and beyond. You're that capable as a runner! Go Annie GO!
Many congrats on your excellent 10K result, and I am heartily looking forward to reading more about your accomplishments (and the occasional related mental and physical challenges) in the near future.
Please don't be a stranger to the RT marathon forums. There are a number of "fast women" (much moreso than me!) runners who hang out there who will be amazed and inspired by your abilities, and some of them are moms too.
And thanks--you've inspired me! Take care and be fleet : )
Lisa