Gasparilla 15k

Finally. I broke the tape and it was actually tape, not yarn. The race itself was one that tested my ability to focus and overcome. I didn't feel awesome smooth like I did at Westchester. This one was all guts for the last three miles. As Casey said, "you look awfully bad for a 56:00". He's right, but I'll take it. My biggest win on the roads to date.

"Freedom is just another word for nothing left to lose." Instead of this being a head inflating experience it was a cathartic one. This win forced me to face my abilities, their possible limits, and the head games I play with myself. No more excuses, no more holding back. I am now ready to lay it out there. Naked. I'm not afraid to find out I might be wrong about what I think I can do, or what others think I can do. I don't care. The only way I'll ever know is if I pick up my damned skirt and go for it. If this win had gone down with Annie on a throne I'd have just mulled on waiting for the other foot to drop. Since this win was challenged by the local press (and the comments were brutal) it forced me to take a long hard objective look at my running, and life over the last 4 years and draw a conclusion. The conclusion being this. First and foremost, people are cruel and weird (anything to make a story out of nothing). Secondly, I don't train hard enough. I don't race often enough. I hold out just enough to be able to say, "if I actually trained I could...." because I'm afraid to know the truth. My times for what has been put in to them are awesome and shameful simultaneously. I may be a national class runner forever. I don't care. It's about the training. I am surrenduring myself to it fully to see what's in there, no more wasting time and talent because of elementary hang ups and inhibitions. It's business now. I've been striped naked there's nothin' left to lose.

After thought, Do I race as Annie Cooper-Gasway or Just Annie GAsway.