First Letter to you

A letter to my son's mother,

The life you made is beautiful.  He is the gleam in my eye.  He bows my mouth into broad smiles.  He dances for me, just for me.  He lights up when I clap for him.  His chest puffs out, he is proud to know he has pleased his audience.  I am the mother who puffs his chest out.  I am the lucky receiver of his hug attacks.  I will be the witness of his life.  I am lucky that you have given this to me.   I am keenly aware of the magnitude of what you have done for me, and saddened by what it means for you.  It means your gift of him will be missed by you.  I see you in him.  He looks just like you.   I see you looking at me through his eyes begging to be loved.  I promise to love you both.

He is so happy, so full of joy, so full of love.  I feel guilty that it is for my family and not you.  My greatest hope for him is that he can be reunited with you in heaven.  I would love see the joy that might bring to both of you.  This is what I pray for, for both of you.  I am guardian, caretaker, and mother of his soul brought to me through you, to be given back to you some day.

Thank you.  Thank you for giving him life when ending your pregnancy made more sense.  You had nothing for him but love.  I know you tried.  I know you wanted what was best for him, you proved this in the most courageous way.  I admire you.  He is lucky to have two mothers that love him; one in heaven and one on earth.

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