Christmas Past Part I

There is magic in the Christmases when I had the least to give.


She stands outside the school. Crisp air cuts up her coat sleeve. The daily crowd is here to pick up their little ones, and clucking noisily as usual.  No one clucks to her making today exactly like every other day since moving here.  They chose to rotate staring at her instead, "The people and the weather have a lot in common here.  Perhaps after awhile the cold saturates every part of your being?"  She awkwardly shuffles her weight so one knee can bend itself in a gesture of cosmetic confidence, and pretends not to notice. "What ARE they looking at?!" Secretly, she wishes she had mirror to see if a little snot has snuck down onto her numb upper lip. She runs her mitten under her nose just to be safe. FINALLY, the kids trickle out.  She sees a pair of smiling blue glasses with little blue hat. An unruly strand of blonde hair sneaks out the bottom. "I dot dis foh you, Mommy", a crumpled paper by way of a hug. Now, to collect the brown hatted observer for the walk home. She does so, and gladly walks away from the crowd.

"So are you guys excited to get a house?"
"Wioh we get to have Cwistmas pwesents?"
"You get a house, and if we can move in before Christmas you will get to have a tree too."
"So, mom, is Santa going to visit or not?"  Mr. Brown hat cuts to the chase.
"I'm sure he'll bring you something"
"I's wanted one of dose big noeff guns"
"I think Santa was planning on bringing small things for your new room"
"We get to have our own wooms?! Well Okay!!"
"So we won't have to be all in one room anymore?! Can I have a dragon room?"

So the three of them chatter themselves back to the motel room they've share with Him since moving here 3 months ago. The abused paneling smells of someone else's cigarette smoke, a reminder that this is not theirs (thankfully). She makes them a dinner of microwaved raman noodles and hot dogs, then homework, bath and bed, all four of them together.

Friday, December 23rd the 4 of them unlock their new home. A container in which to treasure their laughter. Each joyful exclaim is accented by a little puff of smoke. She hurriedly harasses the gas company and Stanley Steamer so that her babies would be warm and safe before bed. Otherwise, it would be a long cold weekend with painful reminders of the previous owners cats.

"Mommy, I wike ouhs new house."
As she tucks him into blankets on the floor of his new room, "I am so glad!"
"I get mine OWN woom by myself!  Is it okay though if I stioh come in and sweep wiff you sometimes?"  He adjusts his stuffed managery.
"You bet.  I know it is a big change for you to have your own room."
"Yeah.  I wike it, but I ahso wiked sweeping ah of us in the same woom.  But, it is nice that we have a kitchen now though."
"It sure is buddy.  I love you.  You need to go to sleep now."
"I wove you too.  I wioh twy."

Once all was quite she set up a small 2 ft tree, wrapped the paint brushes and a few small toys from the Dollar Store. She paused to absorb the enormity of this small tree that dared to occupy such a large empty room all by itself. Fitting. Then She curled up next to her family on the floor of her bedroom. This might end up being her favorite Christmas yet.

The Christmas she felt like an alchemist.