DEFINE choice

I sat on the edge of an examining table waiting for the results of blood work for a mystery illness.  My body was rebelling.  I hadn't been sick, yet I kept getting slower.  My mile repeats 3 months ago were all between 5:05 and 5:20.  Now, my mile in competition was barely a 5:10.  Why when my training had been consistent, and manageable, was I getting worse?!  The soft knock on the door stops the beating of my heart for a split second and forces a slight cough from my throat.  The doctor enters.  His face is white.  Whatever is wrong with me it must be terminal.  I can't look at him because when I do my skin prickles as the panic tries to find a way out.  "Miss Cooper...."   "you're pregnant".  I laugh.  He stares quizzically.
"What about the father?"  I point to my left ring finger.
"He'll be excited."  The Doctor exhales.  Finally.  The doctor finds relief, but I don't.  I am on a half-ride athletic scholarship and I can't afford to continue my education without it.  Not to mention that before this pregnancy my training had me on track to put out some really spectacular performances.  This pregnancy could mess up everything; my education, my athletic and professional careers.  Everything.

As some of my readers know I did contemplate aborting him.  Instead, I told my future husband, and his enthusiasm helped to carry me through my fears about parenthood.  I was terrified to tell my coach.  He had the power to pull my scholarship for this.  I was team captain, and our fastest distance runner.  Most Division 1 coaches would pull my scholarship.  This is where my story begins.  My story is one about true choice.

I forced my husband to come along for our "reveal".  He was afraid there would be a conflict.  My coach and I had had a few of those in the past.  Instead, there was a simple acceptance that this would require a "red shirt".  In college sports that means that you sit out a season, but you'll get that season back the next year.  My coach was very supportive of my situation.  He let me keep my scholarship.  He didn't force me to chose between motherhood and an education, or between motherhood and respect, or between motherhood and an ATHLETIC career.  He allowed me to have it all.  I'm not the only female athlete for whom he did this.

Right after track practice! I'm too tired to shower!

                                                     

Our team was populated with several girls who had chosen to keep their unwanted TEENAGE pregnancies. You heard me, TEENAGE.  I had several teammates who had their babies while still in high school, yet were able to be top athletes in their states, thanks to supportive parents and communities.  He offered them scholarships while most other Division 1 Coaches scoffed at them.  One of my teammates ran a 2:12 800m as a senior in high school less than a year after giving birth to her daughter.  While IU laughed at her and told her that her daughter would never be welcomed at any team events, our coach allowed the kids to come to our practices.  Daycare is not always available to young mothers that are full-time students.  THAT IS CHOICE isn't it?  Guess what, he was Catholic also.  He was living his values.  He never once proclaimed his place on the Pro-Choice/Pro-Life issue.  He lived it.  He was obviously pro-life.  He didn't need to go out and hold up posters, because he was taking real action.  Besides posters alienate and miscommunicate, but his actions were a clear embrace of what it meant to truly chose life.  He truly support women's rights.  When my teammate (the one I mentioned earlier) chose to leave the team for her daughter, it was truly HER choice because she was more than welcome to stay.

I think women deserve a choice, and right now they don't really have one.  Your job or baby isn't a choice, it's an ultimatum. Our society makes it nearly impossible to chose to keep life when that life is unplanned, believe me I know.  Our society treats unplanned pregnancy like a terminal illness, and abortion as its cure.  In order to truly provide choice we must support women enough that they aren't forced to chose between a pregnancy and job, a child and a career, a baby and an education, or motherhood and respect.  We must truly give them a choice by ceasing to treat unplanned pregnancy as a terminal illness.  I know that some people view each pregnancy as being very unique situation.  I disagree I think that fundamentally each choice that must be made is the same, it is usually an ultimatum and not a choice.  Do I chose the life of this child or do I chose the values of this society?  I think there needs to be a serious re-evaluation of our definition of "choice".  I am for true choice, which at this moment doesn't exist except in small pockets where people like my coach make a true choice possible.  I think that pro-lifers need to put down their posters and live their value.  It is the responsibility of Pro-Lifer's to take the ultimatum out of the equation so that women CAN chose life.  Let's start supporting women, and respecting motherhood FOR REAL.