As I drove to my parents today I passed some of my favorite running loops. I was frightened. Frightened because those loops are beginning to feel like lost acquaintances whose essence I occasionally miss; or a random craving for hummus, and not the close friends I have routinely depended on for all things, physical, emotional, and spiritual. I am grappling for anything to hold on. I've focused on eatting more fresh foods, on strength training, anything that makes me feel as though I am still doing what the competition is not willing to do. If I only had access to an indoor pool, then I'd be more at ease. That definition I have had of myself as an elite runner is fading as I begin to wonder if I'll ever get it back. Those thoughts are weaknesses I purge daily. The purging is becoming more and more difficult, but necessary if I am going to get back to kicking ass. I'm up for the challenge. Seems I have a lot of challenges facing me these days... I'm tough, I'm buff, I'm not in it alone, most of all I'm a stubborn ass! (if that sounds like a little self pep talk it was!)
It's hard to cope with situations that prevent you from pursuing something you love. You are still an elite runner, sick or not. And you will be back on your feet in a short time. :)
ReplyDeletethanks for the cheer! When your 6lbs over race weight, and you get out of breath carrying groceries in, it doesn't feel like it. But it's all mental
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