freedom

As I sit here listening to the boys cry themselves to sleep, They want to stay awake and I said "no", I am reminded of why I love running so much! So much that I tore my calf because I refused to take time off.

I love running because it makes me feel alive, it makes me feel free. Cliched, I know, but I still remember expending all that pent up energy on the play ground by playing tag. When I was running, then, I never wanted to stop. I just wanted to feel the wind, feel the blood pooling in my legs, feel my body heat up electric. I wanted to go forever and see what treasures I could find. No one could tell me what to do. I didn't know I was actually good at it until 5th grade. When our P.E. teacher timed the class for the presidential fitness doohickie I beat every single 5th grader at my school. Girls and boys. I thought it was fluke until I won the 5th grade all city cross country meet. I didn't win either of them on purpose. I just loved the freedom I felt when my feet hit the ground in a wild mantra. The faster I went the freer I felt. In winning I discovered power. Not over others, but the power harnessed within my legs. The power is contained within the mantra. As I unleash that power onto the pavement in the even rhythm of my feet, I unharness my spirit. To not run is suffocating and chlosterphobic.

Not everyday can be a day when I feel an "even rhythm". There are days when I feel like crap, legs all clumsy. Still, when I run, it's the days when I'm over taken by that wild mantra that I love the most. That's what keeps me at it!