He IS my son.

We arranged for Casey's mom to come stay with the boys.  I have already done lesson plans for them for 2 weeks.  If I need to do more that will not be a problem.  Baby boy has 3 appointments next week.  She was going to take him to them.  Yesterday was spent figuring out logistics like, should we drive?  should we fly?  What will insurance cover?  What should we do with the Kids?  I was on the phone all day with insurance, the hospital, and called and emailed our social workers several times to figure out what was going on with J. No one answered, and no one picked up.

Our insurance has a $1,000 cap that we will have to pay out of pocket, period.  Last year, during Casey's deployment I asked to get my mom, and Casey's mom approved to stay with J after his open heart surgery, so that when they were here helping out I could leave the house.  My mom wanted to stay in Chicago with me, so we asked Casey's mom to stay with the kids.  We thought about driving us all up there, except that the boys have so much going on next week that it wasn't possible.  It didn't seem fair to put their whole life on hold, they are already so upset and stressed out.

My brother and sister in law volunteered to buy plane tickets for casey and I.  The total was over $1,000.  On top of that we are staying in their apartment.  I don't know what I would do without them.  Everything seemed to be falling into place and I fell asleep and slept hard for the first time since the 28th.

This afternoon I get a call from our agency (not state DSS), saying that we cannot leave J with my mother in law because she was never approved to watch him.  They also never approved our friend, Mark's, wife, so he can't stay with them either.  I tell them that Mark and his wife just had a baby 3 weeks ago, and then they proceed to ask me if Mark can come stay at our house alone?!  When I say "no" I am told our only option is put J in respite care, or fly him too.  I had to borrow 1,000 dollars to fly us, where am I going to get 546 more dollars to fly J?  I have 598 dollars to my name for the next 2 weeks.   We are only allowed 7 days of respite care a year.  Beside's the fact that baby boy who has finally over come his fear of abandonment would be with strangers, which would quite likely cause him to relapse in to that fear, I don't know if I will be able to retrieve him from respite care in 7 days.  If I don't, we could quite likely lose him.  Not only that, but if it were your kid, and you were facing either cancer treatment or major surgery, would you want to leave them with complete strangers?  No, you wouldn't, you would want them with family.

I frantically call his CASA worker.  Her advice, "take him with you." as the only way to ensure he isn't removed.  I am beside myself.  I have to get the travel approved by the state and in hand by the day after tomorrow, and I have to come up with the money.  I vent to my private INFJ group, my close friends.  They are desperate to help and beg me to start an indigogo account they can donate to, so I do.  I know it won't be there by the time I need it, because I need the money today.  So I call my mother in law and ask her to buy the ticket with the promise of repayment.  She says yes, but I can't buy it until I have approval to take him with me.  I am terrified the flights will sell out before we can buy a ticket.  I proceed to call J's state worker and legal guardian.  She still isn't answering.  I wait 45 minutes for her to return an email, or phone call, and then panic. Finally, I remember that I have the cell phone number for his mother's worker, and she is still assigned to his case!  I text her to please have Js worker call ASAP.  Instead she calls.

I tell her what is going on.  She immediately gets the information from me, and promises she will orchestrate this for me.  I doubt it will happen in time.  She and I talk on the phone several times in the next 45 minutes.  She filled out the paperwork, sent it to the agency, the agency sent it back, she got it signed by the supervisor, and back to the agency in 45 minutes.  She called me to let me know it was all complete, and that the agency had it.  This was sweet.  It was her way of ensuring the agency didn't have anyway out of letting us take him.  Our worker at the agency is a good worker.  The problem is above her paygrade.

At this time the Indigogo has about 300 dollars in it.  That is wonderful.  It will help us repay our tickets.  Any bit helps.